When you hear the word "Corona Virus" do you instantly roll up your window, put on latex gloves and drive right through brick and mortor into the liquor store? Then you might be panicking. But just like any other diagosis out there, panic gets more complicated. There are several different types of panic personas ranging from aloof to total shitshow. Take a look at these styles so that you can determine just what kind of a stress case you actually are:
Pandemic Panicker - Is everything a global mess to you? When it's not the virus, it's global warming. Before global warming, it was Y2K and prior to that you thought everybody was on cocaine. Do you need to feel like the world is a falling apart so you can have it together? You might be a pandemic panicker.
Manic Panicker - Are you relatively calm most of the time, but now you've suddenly SNAPPED and bought out the toilet paper aisle at Smith's? When you witness car accidents are you the guy that flies out of his car and starts directing traffic with your phone flashlight? Are you fine except the minute anything goes wrong you are a hypervigilant screwball that thinks you are saving humanity, but you really just need to stay out of the crossfire? If so than you might be an MP.
Peter Panicker - You see everyone reacting terribly and your first thought is to rebel. Instead of preparing yourself for what lies ahead, you light up another jay and say "fuckin" every other word talking about everyone else's gross over reactions. You are a virtual child so in effect this type of an adult situation causes you to believe everyone takes themselves waaaay too seriously.
Klanicker - You are riling up troups because you've gone immediately to the worst case scenario. This is bioterrorism, the government and fema are planning to shepherd people into camps and now it's time to stock pile guns, park the RV's into wagon formation and hoard water drums and gas cans. If you've already made plans with at least five others, you have two opposible thumbs and you're this guy.
Mass Panicker - You believe information is power and you are helping mankind by spreading the word. You've got Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter and Blogspace on your side. Each retweet and update you give makes you feel a little bit more in control of the unknown. It is as if you could solve the worlds problems with the press of the "enter" key, but in reality you've keyed up the pedigree of friends and family all the way down the line, into the thousands into believing things are terrible.
Whether you are vigilant, suppressed, easily excitable or just plain influencial one thing is for sure...panic never made anyone look any younger. Please remember this as we procede as a nation because what is living worth if you come out on the other side looking like shit?