What you got in your fridge? Oh, I see an old milk carton that expired a month ago, two hot dogs in a rolled up package, a pickle jar with scraps. Wait, okay, you got lemon juice concentrate, a couple cloves of garlic and a package of carrots. Then in the pantry I see three different kinds of beans. Black beans, kidney beans and these weird albino beans in a can. No garbanzo's, no problem! Then you have peanut butter...lots of it. Well, now we're talking! You also got a sticky bottle of vegetable oil? Perfect!
1/2 lb. of beans (almost any kind-garbanzo's preferred)
4 tbsp peanut butter
4 tbsp vegetable oil or olive oil (preferred)
1 tbsp lemon juice concentrate or real lemons (preferred)
2 cloves of garlic OR 2 tsp of garlic salt
pinch of salt
Red Pepper Flakes (optional)
If the beans are raw then clean them and soak overnight. Boil until soft and when they cool down blend to a paste. If from can go straight to blending.
Add peanut butter, oil, lemon juice, garlic, salt and red pepper if you like spice. Blend all together and refrigerate for 30 minutes. Use with carrots, pita, chips or schmear on a bagel. Schmear/shmeer. What is it? Schiz-meer. Schiz-meer on a baggle.
A normal person might think this is sub-par, but you're on a budget and you know it. You haven't eaten anything besides beer in days and you feel like you could eat this shit with a shovel. If you feel like having friends over, feel free to whittle your carrots into tiny shovels for an overall demeaning effect.
From making complete hungover shit piles to simply taking pictures of food and then throwing it away, I seek to aid with even the most nonsensical of food and beverage absurdities.
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