What's this? Medicine can be colorful and tasty like candy? Yes, that's the message we are sending today. If you've ever had a hard time getting your kids to take vitamins this is the perfect decoy. Everybody loves Jell-O, but the bigger question here is....are vitamin's food? I don't see why not. You put them in your mouth and they go where the food goes. Is anyone gonna argue with that logic? Put it in the comments...
VITAMIN JELL-O SHOTS
12 Jell-O shot containers
12 packets of Emergent-C Kids
1 Packet of Jell-O
Cut off the top off all the Emergen-C's and add the powder to the Jell-O powder in a bowl. Add one cup of boiling water to the mixture and stir until dissolved. Once dissolved add 1 cup of cold water. Arrange cups on a cookie sheet and pour 2 oz into each one. Store in fridge for several hours until they are ready to be enjoyed!
Think of all the wonderful things about this: It's a snack, it's fat free, it's filled with vitamin's and it can easily be carried in your purse. Take it to the park, to church, to the store...kids won't even know they are getting their daily balance of all that good shit they need.
Nothin' says America like taking a cultural dish, throwing some shit on it and claiming it as our own. In my MAGA recipes I highly suggest you steer away from the use of organic vegetables. I don't call them pesticides, fungicides or herbacides...I call that flavor.
What You'll Need
1 Pasilla pepper (pronounced in this recipe as "Pass-ill-uh")
1/4 cup cream cheese
pinch of salt & pepper
You'll want to roast the pepper first off for 40 minutes. I usually do five or six at a time and freeze the ones I don't use for later. Slice the roasted pepper into strips and set aside. Beat the three eggs together with salt and pepper. Add the cream cheese in mini-chunks to the egg mixture. You'll now want to start heating up a pan at medium heat. Cover the pan in butter, lots of it. When the butter starts to bubble, you'll add the egg mixture and the peppers. Scramble them with a spatula and remove from heat once they are the consistency you like.
Bwenos Stillas and enjoy!
You might start out crying from the onions, but you'll end up crying from the beautiful dish you cannot get enough of. This is essench a Pico de Gallo with strawberry's added to it. Supremely easy and great with a number of thing including fish.
Not everyone knows, but Oregon strawberry's are thee best on the planet. Myth has it that they were delivered by UFO's, dropped into magic manure, pissed on by a Pegasus and sprouted by Fey fertilizer. Any strawberry's you can get will work, just sayin'.
PICO DE FRESAS
2 Cups of chopped strawberry's
2 Cups of chopped tomatoes
1 Chopped red onion
1-2 chopped jalapenos (depending on hot hot you like it)
2 Garlic cloves
1 Bunch of Cilantro
4 limes juiced
Salt to taste
Once you chop all of the fruits and veggies you'll toss together in the juice of the limes. Add salt to taste and then leave in the fridge to marinate.
This juice is a great marinade for chicken, but it can be used as a chutney over Halibut, Ahi tuna or Tilapia. Hell, it's good enough to just dip some tortillas chips into. Add beer to your mouth for flavor!
I'm not a huge baker which begs the question "Why the hell am I writing a cooking column?!" Cooking is as much about improvising as it is about following directions so with that I'm as qualified as the next person. Zways, I've made cupcakes once in my life and as such I had little on hand as far as accessories. Now that I have made them, however, I know that it takes some build up or rising action if you will aka "planning". There are the raw ingredients like flour, baking powder and flavoring, but also the cupcake pans, the paper and ALL of the piping accessories. The only suggestion I saw as a piping hack was the old Ziploc bag one. I didn't have a Ziploc baggy to cut the end of so I ended up using latex gloves. I used the hard rubber yellow kind (A new pair mind you). They worked fantastic, I would even suggest better than a baggy would because it holds its shape.
Here's what you do....Use the pointer finger as the frosting tip, cut a hole in the tip of the finger. Next, you'll tie the three fingers and thumb together so the frosting doesn't get tempted to go into those sockets. Now you'll put frosting in and make sure there's enough you'll be able to apply pressure to get it moving. If you have frosting tips, these are even solid enough they would probably hold in the caps.
I've never seen anyone else try this so I hope it works for you....toodle doo!
After juicing your fresh vegetables, mix in a tsp of Horseradish, a tsp of Worcestershire and 1 1/4 tbsp of sugar or sugar substitute...or not. The juice alone is good, just much more bland and pulpy than what you are used to.
Additionally add vodka 3:1
A couple of tricks: Add tons of Ice, garnish (suggested avocado and shrimp) and if you are a male don't go pee after cutting the peppers. Have fun and beet safe!
Yum! Yum! Yum! Looking for something different AND easy....try one of these three snack ideas. Vegans have another name for them...meals. They're all very addictive if you ask me.
Rice Paper/Hummus Wrap:
Tomatoes/Cucumbers/Carrots (Pick One)
In a rice paper wrap you just spread a thin layer of hummus, lay out a few basil leaves and sprinkle diced tomatoes, cucumber strips or carrots. Roll up and eat as planned.
Tofu Toast (French)
Whole Block Extra Firm Tofu
Tbsp Brown Sugar
1/4 cup of Olive Oil
Pat your tofu dry or squeeze rather. Next you'll cut slabs horizontally about a quarter inch thickness. Make your cinnamon brown sugar mixture to spread on top. Cover each piece equally with mixture. Use half the oil in a pan on medium heat. Cook half of your tofu, each side until slightly brown and crisped. Eat as planned.
2 Haas Avocados
1 tbsp Veganaise
Take one avocado and split in half after removing the pit. Take the other avocado and whip the inside with the tbsp of Veganaise. Add salt to the mixture. Fill the avocado with the whipped avocado mixture and top with paprika. Plan to eat and eat as planned.
And remember we are what we eat so don't let your diet lack the essential nutrients to treat others like human beings, that is the most important thing! If you can't be nice, change your diet!
Whether you've been drinking or not, hungover or not, you can make these Jell-O shots. If you've been drinking they will help get you steadily on your way to feeling better. If you are just taking them on a normal day it will give you a boost of energy. "Wet Brain" or a condition known as Wernicke-Korsakoff's syndrome is a late-stage alcohol disorder that has been linked to a Thiamine deficiency. By getting your B vitamins you may protect your brain from the long-term damage of this ailment. What better way than with a portable and yummy treat. And a few other great things about Jell-O shots is that they they can fit in your purse, you don't have to keep them in the fridge and you can share them with friends.
Emergency Jell-O Shots (with or without vodka)
12 Jell-O shot containers
12 packets of Emergent-C
1 Packet of Jell-O
Cut off the top off all the Emergen-C's and add the powder to the Jell-O powder in a bowl. Add one cup of boiling water to the mixture and stir until dissolved. Once dissolved add 1 cup of cold water or 1/2 cup cold water and 1/2 cup of vodka. Arrange cups on a cookie sheet and pour 2 oz into each one. Store in fridge for several hours until they are ready to be eaten!
All of your ingredients are here in one click! Below the links for "Lemon Cordial"
Looking in your fridge one would guess you're poor, lazy, ravenous or all three. The shelves are bare, but the door is a host of preservatives; Jars full of jams, pickled onions, brains (see zombie diet) and whatever else you keep in them. Your fridge looks as empty as you feel inside, but it's really not. With our condiment courses you can take out your picnic blanket and make a banquet with just ketchup, beans and a few other ingredients.
Canned Beans (Kidney, Navy, Pinto)
2 tsp Cumin
2 tsp Chili Powder
1 tsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Sugar
Bell Pepper (Optional)
Plain greek yogurt or sour cream
Any kind of cheese
I made this on Saturday and it turned out completely edible. First, you'll want to saute the onions, bell pepper, jalapeno and garlic or whichever of those you have. Next you'll add the seasoning at the ass end of the saute process, right before you remove the pan from the range. Keep that on the side as you open a can or two of beans (a mixture of two kinds works best). Heat up the beans and add the ketchup as well as the vegetables. Bring to high heat for a few minutes to cook out some of the sugar. After about five minutes bring heat down to low and leave on for about fifteen minutes. When you are ready to eat, add toppings and see if it turned out. You'll have to let us know!
Made corned beef for St. Patty's this year and I didn't have any sour krout. They call it sour cause it's generally the most grumpy food there is. Real neg vibes. Looked through everything else I had in the fridge and Brussell sprouts seemed to be the closest sub. Then I saw my good old condiments. Kimchi! It's fermented, it's cabbage based and it does have a hint of spice. Never ever did I ever realize kimchi could turn out BETTER than any Ruben I've ever had.
In a toaster make a little elevator for your bread. When it comes up from the burning basement it should have a nice blackened effect. Mix ketchup and mayo together with finely chopped pickles for the sauce and slather on one side of the sandwich. Put a layer of Kimchi over that and a layer of corned beef on top of that. And hello! Voila! Psyche! Best sandwich ever!
Nothing says MAGA like taking a cultural dish and taking a deep deposit on it. How does one take a deposit on a classic...well...making it much more difficult than it actually is. Is that all? No...you ALSO have to make everyone feel as if it is some kind of shortcut. That is what we are going to do with today's recipe for Vietnamese Pho. What you'll need are accessories, accessories, accessories. Instead on just a stove and a pot we're going to cook this on a campfire twist on compact stove top, an individual propane tank, a slab of tile and the great outdoors. Feel free to also bring a dog, a five room tent, some guns, a monster truck with a tool box and a cooler full of beer.
Optional adds: (for added flavor)
Directions: Heat water on high until it boils. When boiling add broth. Just like with regular Pho you'll cook your desired meats in the broth at high heat. When your meats are done you can simply move your pot off the flame, add your garnishes and eat directly from the pot.
Make it a party and provide individual units for ALL your guest. It's a fun activity and brutal to plan!
From making complete hungover shit piles to simply taking pictures of food and then throwing it away, I seek to aid with even the most nonsensical of food and beverage absurdities.
DIYrrhea.com is super happy to promote Performance Lab Nootropics for increased memory and cognition like the guys in Silicon Valley use. Don't be a zombie. Check out the reviews on this shit!