You're Eating Brains, But Not Getting Any Smarter

Ever since you turned into a zombie, you've noticed a change in your behaviors: You never sleep, you've become disinterested in regular tasks/conversations and you have an insatiable desire to eat brains.

If we are what we eat like the experts say then how come you're not trying out for Jeopardy any time soon?

Brains need lots of energy for starters. If you are going to be feasting 24/7 your brain is going to need  fuel in the form of either sugars or fats to keep your walking dead ass going. Since sugars are out of the question (ew gross!) you're going to need to need lots of fat just to exist short of getting ahead of the feasting game.

Fortunately, brains are the fattiest organ in the human body. Unfortunately, the ratio of water to fat is pretty high. Made up of 75% water the organ only provides a small amount of meat that gets digested into polyunsaturate fats that you can use. This means in order to get your fat content high enough that your body is able to saunter 5 miles per hour, groaning and feasting you need to eat more than 30 brains a day! 

So in the future try getting your brain consumption higher than the 30 bpd (brains per day) so that one day you might have enough restored brain function to read this article or, you know, think about your lifestyle choices.