No lie, the first time I saw a doorbell rigged to a bedroom was when my genius older brother extended his electronics kit to make it so I had to push a button before talking to his brainiac self. Yes, at eleven years old he set up an old school doorbell and I just thought it was so lame at the time. Now facing the revolving door of students on my floor going in and out of my dorm, it makes a lot more sense. Even better, the new age doorbells have fancy camera's and it's easy to see who I need to pretend to be not-home for and who I can yell to enter.
Here are three types of doorbell's perfect for dorm rooms or just bedrooms in general.
Having one of these devices also has an added element of security to your space. If you have a camera or a doorbell that connects to your phone, you can easily check out who is roaming around while you are not there. Below you can find one-click purchase for any of the above listed items.
Your boyfriend is staring at his phone, who the hell could he be texting? He seems to be enjoying himself, THAT bitch! You never should have supported him getting a Galaxy five, all that T & A he’s potentially scrolling through has 1460 x 2540 resolution!
Girl, stop. See now one of your diamonds just dried to your nail piercing. Deeeeem. There are many how-to blogs showing you how to apply rinestone’s to your nails, but there’s only one…this one…that will help you stay calm while your bf simply does not care about your mosaic sparkling peacock Swarovski crystal creation, but instead has his head buried deep inside his GD Samsung Galaxy 5.
First, you’ll want to buff your nails.
Buffers were made entirely as decoys. You might want to chew gum as well so as to appear aloof, but at the same time scanning your bf’s facial muscles for abnormalities. Is he smiling in delight? Is he clenching his teeth and tense. Is he doing that stern face he does when talking to his boss? At this time you’ll want to chew your gum more fervently. As you remove the top of your nail with the emery board determine the relationship between him and the person on the other end. Male or Female? If you don’t know it is safe to assume that it is some cheating bitch.
Now it’s time to move on to the top coat base layer. Also, to unpeel the layers of answers to those passive probing questions you are slathering on.
“You look like you are really enjoying that conversation”, “Is something funny…I like funny stuff?” or “Whatcha doin’?”…these are all great extraction questions. Keep going on this line as you move onto the next line of products. It’s very important AT THIS TIME to find out if it is a new relationship or one that’s been ongoing. If he acts like it’s his best friend AJ and you are just being dramatic, it’s safe to assume it is some cheating bitch.
For the last and final layer you’ll want to strike on a clear coat while you’re using standard accusations based on your previous assumptions.
Start out light with just a quick dry and “I feel” statements like “I feel like you’ve been spending a lot of time on your phone for the last thirty minutes” then move to a shellac and aggressive threats “I have guys hitting on me daily, if you aren’t going to pay attention to me, I have ten guys waiting out the window ready to F me in a heart beat!”
Now your nails look amazing and you look just psychotic enough to use them! Remember, you just cleaned all the dead skin out of them so try not to immediately collect a whole new pile of compacted cells. Give it an hour or two before you kick out your bf because you’ll be petting your cat angrily on the couch when he leaves and you don’t want to get the feline hair stuck to the clear coat.
You're at the Olympics in Greece, the Cannes Film Festival in France and the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Rome; The best part is....you haven't left your garage! Are these tips for where to go DO mushrooms or where to go ON mushrooms? I don't know let's take a few more mushrooms and find out shall we?
Space station ski trip: Grab a reflective emergency blanket, you know the ones. They look like ponds that go down to middle earth. It's weird cause you think space would be up, but it's really just in the blanket. Make sure if you are doing this in a public place...space station ski trip...you make sure to look inconspicuous and do something very mature...like promote your successful real estate business. As the people are running away make sure to scream at them you are sure you have some "listings" they would be interested in and make your hand look like a phone as you say "call me". These are things that will register with ground control which just happens to be communicating with you through your thoughts. Now grab the ski's and feel free to take off.
Gas station game show: If you are looking for something a little bit weirder, you can plant yourself on the side of a gas station and play "Who's. Your!" where the audience screams "Who's! Your!" Every time you get an answer correct. This game show begs the deepest questions of the Universe like "If God was a female baby and controlling your life with a joystick, what parts of your life would look no different than they do now?" One of the challenges in this game is to refrain from crying hysterically like someone has just exploded. When people walk past make sure to do something mature that tells them you are definitely NOT on mushrooms like talk about gas prices (Example: "Can you believe these gas prices...unbelievable!)
Hiding Goseek: If you want stay local, you and a group of friends can do mushrooms on a nearby trail and play a game you've termed Hiding Goseek. In this game you all huddle together in colorful anguish fretting about who is going to come around the corner. Will it be your boss, your mother, the Red Bull from the Red Bull container with or without wings. If people pass by make sure to act like you are having a business meeting...business as usual. Have very straight posture because serious people have very straight backs. Mention very loudly that your "business" meeting will "adjourn" shortly and you "don't wish to take any more of their time". Say "sir" three or four times to make sure they know you mean "business".
There are lots of hot places to go on mushrooms this year...geysers, hell, floating pancakes right off the skillet. The most important thing to remember is 1) Stay mature and 2) Be safe.