Since when did crafty NOT mean coniving? Just because someone looks matrily DOES NOT mean they aren't a masochist. Normally, this is a how-to section, but I also write an occasional advice column and I've been thinking about a few things I'd like to share...so DIYers beware. Here are some Do-It-Yourself'ers that should be keeping it to themself-er's:
PEOPLE WHO MAKE BATH SALTS
Um, a salt bath has another word for it and that is "Brine". How do you know that these people aren't closet cannibals that are "flavoring" your dermis for later consumption? Don't you notice how pushy they are, trying to get you to try this body seasoning or that "herbal bath blend"? I hope that all this money I've spent taking your advice and brining my body for years and years in rosemary lavender taste good during armageddon, sicko!
If a handshake can spread illness and infect another person with a virus or a bacteria, you can only imagine what handing someone a well-infected goop could do. People who knowingly make and distribute slime might seem like innocent ten year olds to you, but in any other context we call these people "bioterrorist". My cousin Jamie makes slime in his basement, perhaps to go undetected. I'm onto you slime ball!
What do soap makers have in common with bomb makers? They are the same person! Just cause something doesn't have wires, doesn't mean it's not an explosive. With just a crockpot, some lye and a few other ingredients these fools have their hands on some powerful combustibles. Soap makers are great at gossip, but I'd be afraid of getting burned by them in a different way.
These are definitely the craftiest of individuals when it comes to destruction. Glue guns, exacto knives, cutting boards...is this the scene of Apocolypse Now or your mother-in-laws top drawer? Personally I would rather be shot with a real gun then to get a hot squirt to the eyeball rendering my lid attached forever. And with all of those creative skills, anything can double as a weapon of mass destruction.
PEOPLE WHO WRITE FOR DIYRRHEA
I mean seriously what kind of scumbags are making fun of people that have initiative, demonstrated creativity ability and follow through? Is this the epitome of a cynical limbo...uh, how low can you go? We might not be bioterrorist or cannibals, but we sure are killing it and not in a good way.