A common question I get is "Are these common things people write in their bio's?"
The answer is absolutely not!
How fun would it be to write an article about common things people write in their bio's?
"I'm really into dogs"
...well, I guess that could be taken more ways than one, but generally that statement has a purpose and keeps the dog people away from the rest of us. No, I found some really f*cking freaky and weird things people have written in their bio's so you can say, "Well obviously I should not be including that in my online bio" and chuckle. However, at one point someone did.
Hopefully, none of these are yours.
Thing #1: "I'm pandasexual" (In this context meaning black/white - boy/girl) Is this confusing or is it just downright offensive? Do you want to grope a bear or am I reading too much into this? Maybe when you're trying to activate the senses of a mate don't bring a fish mongering mammalian into the equation, just a suggestion.
Thing #2: "My name is Pathfinder AO, I'm a level 62 cyborg and I belong to the ghost clan" If your cover up is that you're a level 62 cyborg than wtf are you hiding? And never bring up the word clan in a dating profile. It makes people think about The Klan. Now I'm wondering what kind of robot army is about to show up at my house if I respond to this. Swipe left.
Thing #3: "My mom said God doesn't make junk" I'm going to need your mom's phone number because it doesn't take a physicist to see that junk is a compilation of things God has made. A lampshade (and it's components), a seashell, a toaster. You're mom is just saying that cause she made you and obviously you are very junky. I mean who writes the word "Junk" in an ad when they are looking to meet a partner? I'm sorry, did I make you feel bad? Maybe you should go call your mom.
Thing #4: "My dad is my hero" And you are the anti-hero of everybody for saying so. I can think of a million people cooler than your dad, I'm just saying, and I haven't left my room in three months. Popeye, Walt Disney, Hitler. Who's your dad? Yeah, I've never heard of him.
Thing #5: "I'm super organized" You are also super BORING. Are you going to organize my disappointment in order of appearance: Initial letdown, emasculatory resentment, straight pity. If you are so good at tracking time, can you tell me when this is going to be over so I can go on and meet someone interesting?
Thing #6: "I have a Yoga certification and I teach massage" This is redundant. We just assume that all you touchy feely freaks do it all. If you are a reiki instructor, you do singing bowls, if you do singing bowls, you do yodelling chowder. We get it, you've got three eyes and eight arms, you see it all and you behave like an octopus on crack.
Meeting somebody is really simple: Just don't fuck it up. If you find the desire to fuck shit up is just too strong to resist and you feel compelled to write any of these sorts of things, they have companies out there that you can hire to be charming for you. Who knows, maybe even one day they will have a service that will even provide a warm body.