Three months ago I joined a twelve step group online because I have some issues with some, we won't say the specifics, substances. Yes, I wandered in by way of clicks and before I knew it I was watching people share on a screen front and center, but chatting with one of the moderators who asked if I needed help. I clicked on his profile only to find a dashing Canadian with the body of Thor (but he wasn't so vain he had the shirt lifted by one hand in the mirror look). Yes, I did need help. Soon we were chatting daily, sometimes he was a shoulder to lean on, other times we referenced people sharing and made tiny inside jokes. These nudges led to phone exchanges and soon enough I was in a full fledged online romance.
I'm here to share some of the tactics I used to land this hottie:
JOIN A 12 STEP GROUP: Surely in this day in age there is something you are addicted to. Maybe it's drinking, maybe it's gaming, maybe it's relationships. Whichever of these it may be, one thing is for sure, joining a group of people with that same addiction is sure to up your chances of getting addicted to eachother.
TRANSFERRENCE: I took all that juju that I was holding in and storing that I usually busted out with a drink or twelve and used it to pop his personality open like a glass bottle of Miller High Life. Who needs a drink when there's a hot Canadian just a button away? You can try this too. Take whatever obsession you are secretly harboring and just shift it ever so slightly onto a person of your choosing.
DENIAL: I could hear people in the room sharing about how sobriety was number one and nothing should come before it so you can imagine the kind of denial I needed to muster to keep this flame going. But I was willing to do it, all in the name of love. Make sure you stand up for yourself and let love conquer all, when those people tell you to put your recovery first...tell them love has cured you!
MANIPULATION: It's really nice when you are going out with someone in the rooms because then you actually have a reason to share authentic and profound wisdom to pseudo help strangers. Then the object of your affection gets to see you performing these duties thus falling even more deeply in love with you.
EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY: Telling him that I loved him on the first phone call probably wasn't smart, but Oh well! I'm sure everything will work out cause if it doesn't I'm going to fucking kill myself. I hope that you can be better at this part and by better I mean lay it all on the line immediately.
There's a little saying in the step meetings, it's called thirteen steppin'. That is when you go after dating someone from a support group. So, my little 13 steppers, good luck with your addictions! And I hope you get some help with whatever you are struggling with as well!
If you've ever looked at a vibrating tool and thought, "Wow, I could make a vibrator out of that" than you are already in the mindset to become a DIY officionado. That is literally all it takes AND follow through. Since I'm constantly thinking about vibrators, I see these things all of the time. Here are three ideas for an at home vibration system so that you can have a completely self-sufficient sex life (at least until things return to a semblance of normalcy).
THE TOOTHBRUSH: Oral-B has a vibrating toothbrush for around 10 dollars that is definitely cheaper than anything you'd buy online. Maybe you already have one. Ultra sonic, Philips, Soniclean, Emerson and tons more brands have something similar. Some people (I've heard :) ) Take these and flip them around so that they insert the soft part and call it good. If you want though you can add a tip with a hot glue gun.
What you do is take the hot glue gun and keep adding layers until you get a shape you want. I suggest making it as smooth and round as possible, at first, and then adding ridges if you like.
RAZOR: The razors that vibrate usually have blades/heads that click right off. Now obviously we don't want to use a razor that has the blade in tact. These razors are typically just as cheap as toothrushes running around the 10 to 15 dollars range. If it's not conveniently in your bath tub, at least it is cheaper than ordering something online. Once the head/razor is removed it will leave a nub. If you have a cap from a tube of lipstick or a rounded mascara lid, you can hot glue gun that over the nub. And voila you have your makeshift pursesize vibrational tool.
BUILDING YOUR OWN: If you are tech savvy than maybe you have some wires lying around and want to try to physically build one. You can remove a DC motor with the plastic gear attached from a tape player, a VCR, printer, etc. You'll also need some solder, a soldering iron, an alligator clip, pvc pipe and some putty. You'll attach the alligator clip to the top and bottom of the plastic gear. A vibrating motor is just a motor with the weight thrown off. For a description with pictures you can refer to this site https://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-make-a-vibrating-motor./ . Once that is made you can insert it into a pvc pipe and secure it for holding. You'll want to make sure to drill holes and pull the wires through so you can hook a switch to the wires. Once the wires are pulled through you can cover the whole thing in putty which will hold the wires. Secure the switch with the putty and shape it into your desired form. Let me know how it works. This may need some improvements....but you get the idea.
If you want something more personal you can always order a kit like Clone-a-willy and find a suitable specimen to mold. Hopefully, this gives you a launch pad for your own inventive pleasure!